Dots vs dashes

Yesterday we celebrated our 2 year anniversary.

We also had an ultrasound.

Now everyone seemed to have an opinion about what we were having.
Willie's mom was sure we were having a boy...my mom was sure we were having a girl.
Willie said boy, Kelly said girl, and everyone else had an opinion based on my size, or how I was carrying, or just based on their gut. (Although Willie's mom did have a dream the night before our ultrasound changing her mind)

I have always maintained that I would not wager a guess until we heard from a professional. I believe I actually said that I would only believe we were having a boy if I saw "dangly bits" on the screen. Secretly, I had my money on us having a boy because every time we got an ultrasound "the peanut" was bouncing around like a little boy on a trampoline.
Only a mini Willie could be that antsy.

So, we went in and sure enough, the little squirt was still squiggling all over the place making it difficult to get a good read on all the measurements that needed to happen. We even had to take a break hoping that peanut would settle down. Nope. But we eventually were able to see all the fingers, toes, bones, spine, heart chambers, major organs, brain development and umbilical cord insertion...and one big spread-eagled view of the peanut's "parts."

What they dont tell you is that there really are no "dangly bits" to tell you the story...
...just dots and dashes.
Apparently 3 dashes in a straight line mean girl and 3 dots that are not in a line mean a boy.
And we had a pretty good view of 3 dashes. Happy Anniversary to us! We're having a girl!

But nothing is 100% in this world and we personally know several couples who were told they were having a girl and received quite a surprise upon delivery...so we are going to stick with gender neutral colors for now and start boning up on Hannah Montana.

Free Stuff!

We have great friends. I mean really really great friends!
As soon as we announced we were expecting we were absolutely amazed at how many of the big things we would need for the baby we received from our friends!

Our living room is now packed to overflowing with a crib, swing, baby gate, carseat, stroller, another stroller, pack n play, bassinette, moses basket, activity centers, backpack for carrying baby, travel highchair, changing pads, breast pump...and books books and more books! You name it!

Friends rule!

3 sneezes...and you're out

It's allergy season and the pollen count is high in our beloved Willamette Valley.
Taking a walk through the park with my honey comes with an extra treat because...
I've learned that when I sneeze, I pee myself a little.
And I always seem to sneeze in threes.
Can you say...kegels!

"The Peanut"

Around 13 weeks we received our first screening ultrasound. This is the test where they compare your blood test results and a measurement from the back of the baby's neck to get an idea of any genetic defects you might be at risk for. Ours went very well and we are at low risk.

What's fun is that they have a nicer ultrasound machine so instead of the ameoba-like blob we saw on our first run through with the lower grade machine, this one actually looked like something. Well...okay, it looked like a peanut, but that, at least is something!

Hence, we now refer to our growing bundle of joy as "the peanut."
I know, I know, but come on, did you expect anything different from us?

My favorite part (other than the nurse pressing as hard as she could on my full to bursting bladder)was seeing peanut bounce and hop and twitch all over. We were especially fascinated by the cute little frog legs that she was able to take a picture of. Iv'e included a picture so you too can be a part of our experience. Here's how:
1.) Drink a gallon of water and wait 30 minutes.
2.) Squeeze freezing cold hair gel onto your stomach and lean against a counter top to apply pressure for just the right amount of discomfort.
3.) Turn out all the lights.
4.) Print out the picture above, tie it onto a string, and have someone else dangle it about 10 feet away.
5.) Bounce the picture up and down on the string and shine a flashlight on it while squinting your eyes so you can see every little detail.
6.) Try not to pass gas or pee on yourself thus ruining the wonderful moment.

Mother's Day Surprise

SGAOJ Mother's Day Special


One of the hardest things that we decided to do was to keep our exciting news to ourselves until we had reached "the safe zone." That's generally about 10 weeks (I'll rant about the weeks vs months equation later!)

So, we waited. And boy was it hard. I mean really really really hard!

Mother's day was just around the corner...so we made the decision to invite both our moms over for a Brunch to release the news. We asked our good friend Scotty Iseri to help us with our task.

He's brilliantly funny and creative and we had much fun watching the moms squeal!

PS. Shameless plug: If you haven't had a chance to view other "Scotty got an office job" webisodes, you should!

Weapons of Mass Destruction

So....I should warn you now. I am an over-sharer. No, really...I mean you will hear things about me that you never wanted to know! If you are at all squeamish or loathe hearing about things like bodily functions then you may want prepare yourself before you continue reading this blog.

This is one of THOSE posts.

You discover new things every day when you are expecting for the first time. I'm sure to those of you who have a few kidlets under your wing, none of this is new. But there are certain things nobody thinks to share with you before you get pregnant. I mean, we had no idea that the missing Bush/Cheney "Weapons of Mass Destruction" were never found because they had taken up residence in my butt!

Now, I'm not talking about those 7:00pm Thanksgiving day farts. You know those...don't lie. I know you do. The ones where you've had 5 of your cousin's deviled eggs before you went back for seconds and thirds and you now have to walk from room to room crop dusting away hoping that the stench will dissipate enough that you won't be fingered as the culprit. Nope. Not those.

No. I'm talking about something that is quite possibly alive; sort of an Alien vs Predator thing, but inside your butt. They show up just before bed, right when you are getting all comfortable and climbing into the sack to snuggle up with your honey and then...whoops! Out squeeks this innocent little toot, without a sound and then it balloons into a mushroom cloud of the thickest, greasiest, foulest smelling fog that has ever existed! This is not a smell that occurs in nature anywhere. It's not rotten eggs. It's not 3 day old McDonalds. It's not even that smell that comes out of your cat's butt when she farts and wakes herself up and you go running for the door. Noooooo, this is a smell that clings to everything it touches, it doesn't go away, it just hovers in the air, clings to the blankets, your clothes, the walls, even the inside of your nasal passages!

Now, it takes a lot to gross out Willie but when I saw him running full tilt for the door with his hand over his mouth and his eyes watering, I felt a pretty darn big sense of accomplishment!

We now have a warning system in place and even though it takes a lot these days for me to get heft myself out of bed, even I know there are some things a marriage can survive and some things it cannot. And I really don't want to tell a therapist that I ruined my perfect marriage because of a "WMD" fart.

-b

ept tests suck.

St. Patrick's day is always fun. Green Beer, Leprechauns, Four leaf Clover, Pots of gold and getting together with friends to party. Well, that is, if you are not at home peeing on a stick.

I believe I already mentioned my periods are like clockwork, right? So, two days late, I figured I would just check...you know...just in case. So I dug through some old boxes from before our move and dug out that ancient ept pregnancy test that I bought 4 years ago. It was expired, but it said I would find out 5 days earlier than the other tests and who was I to argue with brilliant marketing? So, I tried it.

I took aim, failed miserably and, after washing my hands for the full two minutes I had to wait anyway, I took a peek at the stick to see what it held in store. Pretty underwhelming. I saw the line that everyone sees (even if Willie took the test) and then if I squinted really really hard, held the stick up to the light, closed one eye and hopped up and down on one leg I sort of saw where a second line was supposed to be. But it wasnt pink, it just looked like I had gotten that area wet. Ya know...with pee. Besides, they said, "dont lift upright" and I was absolutely sure that I had when I was squealing and flailing around about the ickiness my terrible aim had left me with.

So I went to the store and bought another box of ept tests...one that wasnt 4 years old and stuffed into a box in the basement. And then I drank alot of water and waited. And then I got smart and picked out a container that had long lost it matching lid and devised a much better system of "collect and dip." Sorry Mr. landfill.

This system was much better. And after two minutes, I looked at the stick and squinted really really hard and thought I could imagine that maybe there was possibly a second line? But it was so faded you could barely even see it. I mean barely discernably faded. So I finally called in the expert and told Willie what I was up to. He took a look and agreed that it was not very probable that this faded line was anything to write home about. Now for those of you who know Willie, he can pretty much find out anything in the world using the internet and for the next 2 hours, he became the master of all pregnancy test discussion boards, blogs, info sites and even he found not a single lick of useful advice on tests with faded lines. We both decided that our test was a negative.

But curiosity finally got the better of us and off to the store we went to buy a different brand of test. One that had a plus sign instead of a second line. And I drank some more water and retrieved another container sans matching lid.

So we waited with baited breathe and sure enough...a barely discernable faded plus sign appeared...just barely. Not wanting to get overly excited, I then dipped all the other sticks from the boxes just to make sure they all came up with faded results and we lined them up and had ourselves a quorum! Ummmm.....I think we are pregnant?

Wait, didn't the Doctor say we would be trying for another 6-7 months? Didn't we have tons more baby making nookie to look forward to? Wasn't I supposed to get my green beer?!

Nope. Luck o' the Irish! We were having a baby!

Beginning with a Backlog...figures.

Everyone I talk to that is a mommy tells me that I should keep a journal throughout my pregnancy to remember and pass on little tidbits to our "peanut" one day.

I've never been really great at keeping up with things like that but have a few girlfriends who have recently had babies who's journaling/blogging I have really enjoyed so I am going to give it a shot.

I figured I would start with a little backstory to get everyone up to speed.

Willie and I have been talking about this for about a year and a half now, At first, in a "we should start thinking about this kind of manner" but after last November, we really started to make plans to pave the way.

Now, mind you when we first talked to my Doctor, he was very kind and let us know that, after I went off my trusty old friend the pill, we should expect about 6 to 8 months of trying before we could expect anything. He took great pains to mention, that, should a year pass with no result, we could then start to talk about doing some testing.

We sat down and talked about timing, we did the math, we looked at our job schedules, our vacation plans, other commitments, our debt, our lack of savings, you know...all those things that you should have totally lined up before you jump right into the fun of baby making, right? And towards the beginning of the year, we decided that we would just take things slow; I would transition off my trusty friend the pill and we would not actively try, but just go about our married life and see what happened. After all, the Dr. told us we would have plenty of time to get all our ducks in a row.

So, I let my last pack of pills run out rather unceremoniously and we watched the Inauguration of Barack Obama with pride in our hearts and knew things would work out as they should. My periods came and went like clockwork just as they always had and even showed up on Valentine's day, since Murphy's law seems to always prohibit you enjoying any big occasion without the visitor.

I visited mom at the end of February and we had a lovely visit. Except for the part where I got out of the shower and she said to me..."if I didnt know any better, I'd say you were pregnant." I'm sorry...what? Did my own mother just call me fat?! Seriously?! Did that just happen?! I swear she said it...Anna was there to witness it. And I gave mom no end of grief about it for the rest of the weekend.

They say moms know...but before I did? Now that's just wrong.