*Warning! Overshare blog post! Is Frustration a Virtue?

If so, I have got this virtue nailed!

5 days overdue now.
Look, I know this isnt a big deal. I know she is going to come when she is darn good and ready. I know I'll make it. I know I need to be patient.
I KNOW. I KNOW!

But, this waiting thing is HARD!
And I am UN-COM-FOR-TA-BLE!

I thought it wasn't possible to get any bigger...but I was wrong. I now am the proud owner of a roll of neck pudge and a gobbler under my chin bigger than the Thanksgiving turkey! My excema has taken a turn for the worse so even if I wanted to take one of those great pregnancy photos where my huge momma belly is displayed prominently...it would just be covered in skritchy scratchies...and my boobs are cracked already...and I cant poop...and my back is KILLING me...and I have stretch marks on the insides of my thighs...and my hair looks like crap...and I can only wear my favorite velour track suit so much before even it loses its luster. le sigh.

And, I appreciate everyones kind comments and helpful suggestions. Really. I do! But sometimes, ya just gotta vent, ya know? Get it all out. Whine a little. Have a bitch-fest-pity-party.

I've had an induction massage, worked my pressure points, stimulated my nipples, had hilarious, uncomfortable sex with my trooper of a husband...AND...I even sent my mom back home to Seattle thinking surely that would do the trick! Even Castor oil is starting to appeal to me. But...let's face it, this kiddo is gonna be stubborn!
Now, there's a shocker.

I'm going in for acupuncture tomorrow and another non stress test and then the OBGYN on Wed.

For those of you who are following: Willie is posting "babywatch updates" on his facebook and twitter pages. They have been uneventful up to this point but are a great way to get the minute by minute updates.
Facebook page
Twitter tag: @wsmith74

yours sincerely...
Beth and a still in the shell "peanut"

Waiting is Hard!

I don't know if Warhol is right...but I'm ready for this baby.

All this weekend, Beth and I kept asking "is this the last weekend that we'll be non-parents?"

It's a bizarre feeling knowing that everything in your whole life is about to change and not knowing exactly when that will start. It could be tonight or it might still be a over a week away.

Getting up and going to work tomorrow will be difficult, knowing that any minute, Beth might call and I will have to leave and be gone for at least 2 weeks.

I'm not known for my patience, but I guess this is just the first lesson my daughter is teaching me (and I better learn this one fast!)

A Preview of the Nursery!

While Beth is sleeping (she gets her best sleep between 6:00am-11:00am), I snuck into the nursery to give you a sneak peak!

There is still a little work to be done, but here's what we have so far.

My highlights are:

The best glider/ottoman ever! That was the one area we splurged on and it was worth it. It is so comfortable and the color really makes the room pop! The photo doesn't show it well, but Beth's mom made a draft little blanket/quilt for the little one (the real one is amazing) and gave it to us and it fits with the glider, perfectly

The art! The paintings on the wall come from an artist that Beth found online. After we decided to get one, we found out he is dating one of our friends and lives nearby (how Portland is that!). Anyway we have 3 of his works now and will probably be adding to it...we have 2 (Hornless Rhino and the Snail) that are on circus platforms and another called "Disco Inferno Chickens". A link to his work is here.

We also found the most adorable little gallery, Side Street Gallery, in our neighborhood run by Michael Pratt and Reta Larson (who also own Pratt & Larson Tile). I don't know how to describe it, but it's funky, kitchy, and cool! When we were in there the first time, we met Michael and Reta and they took us on a tour of their incredible house located on top of the gallery. Cool doesn't' begin to describe their living/studio space and the outside terrace...WOW! Beth and I both were attracted to a little wooden sculpture Michael had done and bought it. You can see it on top of the wardrobe next to the giraffe bank (also a favorite).

I hear Beth stirring, so more highlights later, but please enjoy the quick photos!

Nursing a cold and the karate kid!

I have a cold. Not H1N1...just a cold. Yep. Figures, since I got both my seasonal flu and my H1N1 vaccination. However, its a full blown sneezing, snuffly, drippy nose, aches and pains, can't sleep filled cold. boo. hiss.

So, I've spent the last few days pretty much exclusively in bed...which would be great if I wasn't still gestating the Karate Kid.
I mean, I realize she is ready to come out anyday now...but does she have to do "the crane" every five minutes to remind me? It's like she has 10 arms and legs and they have managed to each push on a different rib, all the while also kicking my stomach, bladder, pelvic floor and backbone...WOW! We may have a mini circus performer on our hands!

So I'm trying to keep hydrated, keep my feet up so they don't explode and getting as much rest as I can. Really, right now I'd settle for just not peeing my pants every time I sneeze.

A letter to family and friends post birth.

Dear Friends and Family:

First, we want to thank all of you for the support, the advice and the love you have given us during the last 9 months. We’re not sure anyone is really ready to become parents, but we guess, we’re as ready as we will ever be and we are blessed to have each of you in our lives!

As we embark on the last few days before the baby arrives, we want to share with you some of our plans (and the hospital’s new policies) for the big event and beyond.

Due to the H1N1 virus hospitals are now limiting the number of visitors/support people allowed in the labor & delivery & recovery rooms. This includes Kaiser Sunnyside, where we are planning to have the baby. Unfortunately, only 4 people are allowed to log in at the hospital! This means that unless you are Sue, Mary Ann, or a sister, you will not be permitted to visit while we are at Kaiser. Although we are not thrilled about this new policy, it is better than the 2 people that other hospitals are allowing and we are thankful for the extra safety procedures designed to keep our newest family member safe.

Willie will be doing his best (and/or as much as Beth will allow) to update his facebook and Twitter page with any and all updates about the labor and delivery. Don’t worry, it won’t be graphic! If you are not on facebook or twitter, they are easy to join and free. Willie's Twitter tag is @wsmith74 .

We do not know how long we will end up being at the hospital (hopefully not too long!).

We’ve also heard from so many of you how excited you are to visit and we are looking forward to seeing you all (Okay okay, we realize it’s really about the new baby…) However, once we started to do the math and look at the calendar we began to realize that there won't be enough hours in the day to see everyone in the first few weeks as well as settle in to our new roles as exhausted parents. So, at the advice of many new mothers and fathers we know, we hope you will understand that we will be limiting how many visitors we have each day and length of stay. It may even take us a few days to settle in after we return home. We hope you won’t think us rude and we apologize in advance for any inconvenience. It has absolutely no bearing on how much we appreciate and love all of you!

Our doctors have also given us a bevvy of warnings regarding H1N1 and the seasonal flu. Although both mom and dad have been vaccinated, our new little bundle will be extra susceptible and we are listening. While we know this is common sense, it makes us feel better to write it down: So…If you are not feeling well, have people around you that are not feeling well, have the sniffles, a cough, or any other cold or flu symptoms, please delay your visit until you are at least 48 hours past your last symptom. Keep in mind that you are contagious up to 24 hours before you show any symptoms of being sick. Also, we’ll probably be religious about having people wash their hands and/or using Purell before interacting with the baby.

Willie will be the main point of contact for finding good times to come over and visit the family. The best way to get him is e-mail: wsmith74@yahoo.com. In anticipation of new challenges and sleep deprivation, we are likely going to be turning off our phone ringers a lot for the first few weeks after the birth, so e-mail, e-mail, e-mail!

Thank you again for everything and we look forward to seeing you all as we start the next chapter of our life’s journey!

Beth, Willie, and at least for the next few days “Peanut”.

Notes from a daddy to be...

Since I cant seem to get Willie to write an actual post, I am stealing an email he sent to some friends of ours back East to give you a recap. Willie is very excited and has been my rock the last few months...and his obsession with Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa) has been the gift that keeps on giving!

Here is the text of his email to our good friends Linda and Charlie Naftalin:

So sorry to be delayed in our response, it has been a crazy month.

Thanks for the wonderful baby Einstein playmat. There is a funny story behind it. The woman who hosted our baby shower (Sarah) to whom you sent the gift, got married a few weeks after our shower. So....in all the confusion, she thought it was a wedding gift and didn't open it.

Beth and I were both in their wedding (Beth...at 8 1/2 months pregnant!) and after they got back from their honeymoon and were opening their gifts they discovered the it amongst the pile. At first the new groom thought it was someone idea of a joke...and then they realized it was meant for us. We just picked it up from them a few days ago. It's great and fits in with the theme of our nursery. Thank you!

The week after the wedding, Beth was in charge of the biennial conference meeting of Oregon Democrats in central Oregon. Everyone who is anyone from the Dem Party of Oregon...all the electeds, consultants, candidates, activists, etc....she did a FANTASTIC job with it, especially since the keynote dinner speaker canceled at the last minute, so they decided instead to take the budgeted travel expenses and buy wine for all the tables. She put me to work up on stage to do an after dinner comedy routine on why there was no keynote speaker. It worked out great.

Seeing so many people ill at the conference. the next weekend, I turned into the H1N1 guru...and even though we had to wait in a 5 hour line, we got Beth the vaccine. I have taken Congressional oversight to a whole new level with our public health officials and their response to the vaccine shortage. I'm sure there are some cursing my name, but until we start targeting the highest risk first, I'm not slowing down (at least until the baby is born!)

This is the first weekend we have had free in almost 2 months and it was all about getting the nursery ready (we made some progress) and a horrible trip to Babies R Us! That truly may have been one of the worst experiences of my life. Thank God, I don't have to do it again...oh wait!...we have to return some items...Damn!

This coming week, I get busy and am putting on 2 events for Speaker Pelosi (which may or may not happen depending on the Health Care vote) and the next day I put on the Congressman's Annual Comedy Event. This year, I 'm trying to add some more production elements to it, so we are filming some shorts and rehearsing a musical number this week. Keep your fingers crossed that the Peanut decides to wait a week before deciding to join us.

Hope you and Charlie and the family are doing well. Keep us aprised of your grandbaby that is on the way! We will try and stay in touch as much as possible and keep you updated. I'll be using Facebook to update folks about the baby. Because of H1N1 we are limited to only having 4 people be with us for the delivery and recovery. Not 4 at a time...but just 4 people total who can see us at the hospital. Thank goodness for social media networks to help spread the word.

Now off to check on dinner. I don't know why, but in early September I fell in love with the Barefoot Contessa. And to Beth's pleasure, I am the main cook in the family now. She still helps and gives tips, but I am really enjoying cooking.

Off to check the potatoes.

All our best-

Willie, Beth and Peanut

comparasin shopping...

Aunt Martha sent me this photo of Grandma deDesrocher pregnant in April 1955.

Isn't she cute!

3 weeks away!

9 months.
Nuf said.

Fair winds and following seas my friend

Capt. Larry Martin
1952-2009

My friend and long time co-worker from the Portland Spirit passed away this last weekend.
I will always have many fond memories of Capt. Larry Martin. He was an ever smiling, mischievous and fun loving man. He will be dearly missed and my love goes out to his wife Cindy, and his children Kyle and Kellie. May he rest in peace and his vivacious spirit carry on.

Being a Bridesmaid...

So...Joe and Sarah got married on October 10th! And it was wonderful! I mean really wonderful!
Willie was a groomsman and I was a bridesmaid. Yup. They make dresses for that!
I may have had to sew nickels into the front hem to make sure it hung over my belly appropriately..yeah..I did that...but it was a wonderful day full of some great memories.

Joe and Sarah are waiting for their photos and I will share them when they come in but here is a shot to tide you over. Isn't Sarah gorgeous?! And look how I masterfully hid my belly and displayed my....ummm...assets ;-)

Portland Baby Shower

Yippee! Baby Shower time!

Our good friends Sarah and Joe threw us a wonderful baby shower along with the help of some great friends Farley, Elizabeth, Kelly, Emmy & MG.

It was outside on their wonderful back deck and friends and family came through to visit us throughout the afternoon.
Joe made mimosas for the crew while Sarah was the perfect hostess in her adorable apron and there was an amazing spread of nummies for all! The weather was perfect, we were surrounded by loving friends and family and just had a great time!


Earl and his wife Margaret made an appearance and Earl, true to his great sense of humor wore a hilarious and yet appropriate T-shirt. If you look closely during the slideshow. You will see it!

Our friend Andie Petkus who is a photographer took photos throughout the day.

You can take a peek at the photos of our afternoon on her Flickr site: Beth & Willie baby shower

Thank you to EVERYONE!

Love, us.

Nesting and Projects!!

Oh yeah. Nesting has taken full hold and Willie and I are taking our last free weekend until November to tackle the ever so many things we thought we would have plenty of time to do. Much to Willie's chagrin. Although I will say...my husband has anted up like a champ!

So...up go the IKEA lights and the bathroom shelves. On go the last of the kitchen cabinet handles (thanks mom!) and the full length mirror that's been in our bedroom for a year and out goes the carpet in the basement room that smells like cat pee. Yep. Thats right. After a year of complaining about that darn carpet I am really doing it...and it is making me sooooo happy!

So...
3 coats of concrete sealant, 2 trips to the hardware store and 1 dremel tool later... success!

Okay okay so we still have molding to go but I have called in reinforcements for that (thanks Dennis!)
And yes, I am wearing my Darth Vader respirator the whole time!

Next stop. Nursery furniture building!
Woot!

Hospital Tours...yay!

So, Willie and I just completed our hospital tours this week and have decided on where we will deliver. We have chosen Sunnyside Kaiser's Birth Center in Clackamas.

Now it's not the closest hospital, (but not the furthest either) but it does have some nice amenities and lowest birth ratio of all the choices. 1-5 in a 24 hour period as compared to 15-30 in the other hospitals! Whew! That's allotta babies!

Sunnyside also has a newly remodeled labor and delivery wing and each room is spacious, has a bathtub & shower in the bathroom as well as a portable laboring tub they can bring into the room, they have a full staff of midwives and nurses whose ratio is not reduced in the evening (we found out from their Union rep) and nice big rooms overall. They allow the little one to stay with you the entire time (barring any issues) and seemed much more willing to work with mother and birthplan than the other hospitals.

So, there you go. Check that off the list!

What the F@#* ?

9 Pounds!
1 month...9 pounds!!

I mean how is that even possible???
Yes, I know, thank you for your words of kind reassurance friends, family & loved ones, my wonderful down to earth OBGYN....
....but I AM allowed to have a freak-out over this. No, really, I AM!

I wouldnt be so distressed if I wasnt feeling it in every dad blammit fiber of my being. Bending over has become laborious, grocery shopping has become an endurance sport and my feet have begun to literally swell out of my shoes by mid afternoon. I have such high hopes for my weekends and poof, there they go with barely a project accomplished. Mid stair resting has become a pastime of mine now and lets not even talk about the middle of the night pee breaks anymore! I guarantee you there are no amount of kegel excercises that can thwart 9 more pounds of kidlet pressing on my pelvic floor.

So, prenatal yoga classes here I come. Sorry tacos...you'll have to be relegated to once a week now. Momma needs more salads...and less pie...probably.....

le sigh.

-b

Getting ready for the shower

I can't believe its happening so fast! It seems like just yesterday I was peeing on a stick and now its time for what...a baby shower? Crazy!

As I mentioned before, we have been truly blessed with our circle of friends and family who have passed along sooo much of what we need to prepare for our first foray into parenthood. I don't think we had any clue of the scope of things that these little ones need!

So, since there really is no Emily Post way to tell people what you still need, I figure spilling it all out on my blog where there is already a ton of inappropriate sharing is as good a place as any.

Here is our getting ready for "Peanut" and parenthood wish list:

The Goodnight Room:
This store is absolutely adorable and ended up being where we ordered our glider from. We still have half to go before we take it home and start to rock n roll with it into the wee hours. And yes, we bought one that was comfortable for dad too so he can be a part of the wonderful round the clock feedings. We expect this to be our one big purchase...that is...until she wants a car and college right ;-)

IKEA:
Ahhh....Ikea. Thank God for the over-crowded, over-stimulating, full of screaming children just like yours shopping experience! We struggled with our nursery furniture for months; finding the wrong sizes at the right price or perfectly sized but NOT perfectly priced changing table and wardrobe for our tiny, yet oddly shaped nursery. It almost became a joke between Willie and I until Ikea introduced their new 2010 nursery line and we found just what we were looking for. Now, if we could only pronounce it we would be set!

Dream Dinners:
Everyone tells us how hard it is to squeeze in time to shower in those first few weeks much less find the time and energy to cook a healthy meal. So we hope to stock up our chest freezer with some hearty, healthy, quick-fix meals that wont tax the brain and give us some leftovers. We have used Dream Dinners before and really enjoyed their meals and convenience.
The Sunnyside store is great and they issue gift certificates:
Phone (day) 503-558-8260 * Phone (evening) 503-558-8260
SunnysideVillageOR@dreamdinners.com
*We would also love your own home-made freezer-to-table contributions.

Tidee Didee diaper service:
We know everyone has an opinion on the cloth vs disposable diapers subject. We have polled our friends and family, talked with experts, know the inconveniences and the benefits and have made a decision to give it a whole hearted try. Now, does that mean we are never going to use disposables? Puh-leez! We know that we will find times when that is just a better option. But today's cloth diaper services are not your mommas old school cloth diapers...nope, now they have all sorts of new fangled bells and whistles! Velcro closures, extra absorption, different sizing, no rinsing, adorable little accessories, delivery and pick up and...a little less guilt. Plus, we know the owners and they are wonderful people.

Nursery Artwork:
We saw this on Etsy and fell in love even before we discovered it was the boyfriend of a friend of ours here in Portland. We love the whimsy of these paintings, the bright colors and pseudo circus animal theme. Plus, it makes us feel good that he's local and know who he is! We like Disco Inferno Chickens and Snail on Display.

NW Women's Fitness Club...or...losing the baby fat.
There comes a time in every new mom's life where she just needs to get out and spend a little time away from baby and take a deep breath. They say moms who take time out to take care of themselves are better moms and set good examples for their little ones. I want to be THAT mom! Plus, I have a few really great girlfriends that attend this gym, the atmosphere is safe and comfortable, close to home, not over-crowded and they offer some superb classes to shed that baby weight fast! Ummm....did I mention they also offer daycare?

Amazon.com
We don't own a camera. I know. I know.

Your favorite new-parent/baby necessity:
We know we are in for the learning curve of our lives! For those who have done this before, or know you have just the thing for us or our new bundle...I have no doubt we will thank you for it over and over and over!

Nursery Colors: *Turquoise * Orange * Lime Green * Dark Pink (Think rainbow sherbert)

So, there you have it. Emily Post be damned.

Again, thank you to everyone who has passed along to us tons of amazing baby gear. We are very blessed to have such great friends and family starting us off on the right path to parenthood.

The Smith Family.

Names

Now I realize that there are really only so many questions that you can ask a pregnant woman before you approach the dreaded territory...

1.) How far along are you ? or When are you due?
2.) Do you know what you are having?
3.) How do you feel?
4.) Can I touch your belly?
(And, yes, I appreciate your asking if you can touch my belly...and yes, you can. Unless you are creepy stranger, then, NO you cannot touch my belly.)

But then, it always comes down to..."Have you picked out a name yet?"

I thought this would be an easy question. Really, I did. But Willie and I have struggled with this probably more than anything. It has become a very daunting task and one we didnt realize would be so fraught with opinions. Both of us have rolled our eyes at each others suggestions, mulled over ideas, nixed several favorites off the list due to past associations or because celebrities and popularity are stupid or even because we looked up the meaning and just cant possibly name our child after "crooked nose" I mean really!

So, to answer your question. No. We have not chosen a name and we are not going to divulge our favorites but we are going to compile our list of favorites and let our little one make the decision for us when they come out.

Thank god for friends who are paving the way!

Our friends Anne and Pete who live in Tacoma had their baby Safra in early June. I cant tell you how great it is having friends run reconnaissance for us!

Anne has been a wonderful comfort and amazing resource for me.
Plus, she's damn smart, witty, pithy, sees the humor in things even when they are barreling down on her and is a REAL woman...and I LOVE that about her.
They are a great example to Willie and I that yes, we CAN do this and that you don't have to lose all the fun stuff that made you who you are up to this point when you have a baby.

She blogs too. You should read it. No. Really.

http://www.glossolaliac.typepad.com/glossolaliac/

6 pounds!

I just went in for another appointment last week and they did some measuring and some bloodwork. I also took that gawdawful diabetes screen. Blech! Ever had flat orange soda and been forced to drink it within 5 minutes.....ewwwwww!

My results came back this week looking pretty good. I still have that anti-M antibody floating around but they don't seem concerned so I'm not going to be. The diabetes screen also came back fine so that was reassuring.

What was not reassuring was the 6 pounds I had gained in just one month! My OBGYN said I was just fine but considering Ive gained 12 pounds overall this entire time, 6 in one month seems really extreme. It doesnt help that I am starting to feel as big as a house, my stomach is now residing somewhere right in-between my boobs, I have to get up to pee no less than 5 times a night and I get winded just walking up the stairs.

But its coupled with good stuff like: Being winded means that I can start slowing down and stop trying to be super woman, froglette finally started lots of hip-hip-hopping around and I can finally just let go and accept that I am not going to be able to see my hoo-hoo for a while so shaving down there just isnt that important. Our hospital birth tours and classes start very soon which makes it also feel just that much closer and I have been voraciously reading anything I can regarding child rearing and baby wrangling. PLUS, we finally decided what to do about the nursery furniture after 3 months of struggling with options and money freak outs. Now, I call that progress....
Here is my belly 07/04/09 vs 8/4/09





doesnt seem like 6 pounds huh!

That wierd moment...

...happened this weekend when Willie and I realized that we are no longer part of the younger generation.

Not in a bad way, just in a...hey look, 3 of our friends brought their new babies to the party tonight and 2 more are pregnant and another 2 are getting married this summer and pretty much everyone now owns a house...kind of way. And past conversations that used to include what wine was the best bottle under $5 bucks and what party the full bunny suit would make an appearance at this year and who was sleeping with who have now gone by the wayside in favor of child rearing tips, recommendations for roofers, and comments about how your basil grows so big!?

I think this all happened in the course of a year. I mean, it was only 2 years ago someone brought a live chicken in a box to the white elephant Xmas gift exchange right?

Its just so bizarre to think of us as part of that "other" sett that we used to view as so far off. Now its here and we are it. I mean, are we ready to be responsible parents? Do we have enough experience under our belts? Should we do more reading? Take another class?

Where is the manual and why don't I have a copy?

Okay okay, maybe Im just having a little internal freakout because I just turned 35 and the peanut has started kicking and punching my insides like Muhammed Ali as if to make sure to remind me that she's there and I better GET READY and Willie and I worked out where to put all the furniture in the nursery today (furniture we dont even have yet...) and are trying to figure out how in the hell we are going to afford the little bundle, not to mention how we take the time off to have her and bond with her and give us all a good start....

Well....its just weird.

Sooo. I think Ill go to bed and try not to think about it. Cause that's an adult thing to do. Right?

Months vs Weeks: or, the stupidest math class EVER!

LIARS! They are all LIARS!
Don't believe anyone. It's a conspiracy!

We've been told our whole lives that you are pregnant for 9 months. 9 MONTHS!
Am I right? That's what YOU were told in health class right?
No. You are NOT right. You are wrong.
Because some sicko Dr. or nurse way back when decided that it would be a grand idea to measure our little peanut's development in weeks instead of months. That's weeks folks. And I am supposed to be pregnant for around 40-42 of those same said weeks!

For those of you with a calculator handy...that does not equal 9 months. That equals 10 months!
10 months of explosive gas, unintended belching, growth in places that were never intended to grow that big, the Mount Vesuvius of heartburn and an emotional roller coaster that would rival the world's most spectacular upside-down-side-to-side-loop-dee-loop version that was ever invented!

PLUS...if that werent enough to contend with...they also want me to do MATH? In my weakened, forgetful, dazed and confused state?
What?
Math?
I'm supposed to translate weeks into months and vice-versa? Noooo waaaay!
I mean, Im still just getting over the fact that I actually can grow boobs.

So, for those of you who want to know. I'm somewhere around 1/2 way done. Dont ask me what that means in weeks or months, cause I just don't know.

-b

Short and Chunky: a new maternity store

You know that song by sir mix alot, "I like big butts, and I cannot lie." I used to love that song. But now that I am pregnant I would like them to add a line that says: " I like big butts and thighs and I cannot lie." Yeah, thats the song I would like to hear right now.

So, who are these pregnant women who are 6 feet tall, still a size 4 and can pay $240 for a pair of maternity jeans? I mean really...who are they? I have NEVER seen a pregnant woman shaped like that except in Hollywood...and I don't live in Hollywood. I live right along side the rest of the world where the real shaped people are.

If the guys can have Big and Tall...
The petites can have 0,1,3...
The teens can have Forever 21....

I'm opening my own boutique called Short and Chunky and I'm going to sell clothes for all of us out there under 5"3" with legs built for logging. It will be a fun shopping experience that you will look forward to and not a painful one.

And it will have an AMAZING maternity section.
Where the jeans will fit over your butt and thighs and not leave a gap at the back of the waistband that you could fit another belly in...and you won't have to hem a foot off the bottom to make them short enough and the fashionably faded parts won't be inappropriately placed after all of that altering! And the tops will be soft and actually hip. Not too cutesy or frumpy or just plain ugly...but fun and hip and fashionable. And dresses and skirts will be flowing end at the floor to hide pregnant cankles.
yea, my store will rule!

That being said, I did finally find a great little consignment shop called Milagros that was wonderful and I was able to find a few pairs of pants and tops all for under $7.00 each! And the woman was soooo personable and helpful and understanding! Its on NE 30th and Killingsworth and it was worth the drive.

Yup, I've officially graduated into maternity clothing.
Although Wille is still fascinated with the belly bands that allow you not to have to button your pants. I've told him he cannot have mine when I'm done with them. No. Absolutely not.

Dots vs dashes

Yesterday we celebrated our 2 year anniversary.

We also had an ultrasound.

Now everyone seemed to have an opinion about what we were having.
Willie's mom was sure we were having a boy...my mom was sure we were having a girl.
Willie said boy, Kelly said girl, and everyone else had an opinion based on my size, or how I was carrying, or just based on their gut. (Although Willie's mom did have a dream the night before our ultrasound changing her mind)

I have always maintained that I would not wager a guess until we heard from a professional. I believe I actually said that I would only believe we were having a boy if I saw "dangly bits" on the screen. Secretly, I had my money on us having a boy because every time we got an ultrasound "the peanut" was bouncing around like a little boy on a trampoline.
Only a mini Willie could be that antsy.

So, we went in and sure enough, the little squirt was still squiggling all over the place making it difficult to get a good read on all the measurements that needed to happen. We even had to take a break hoping that peanut would settle down. Nope. But we eventually were able to see all the fingers, toes, bones, spine, heart chambers, major organs, brain development and umbilical cord insertion...and one big spread-eagled view of the peanut's "parts."

What they dont tell you is that there really are no "dangly bits" to tell you the story...
...just dots and dashes.
Apparently 3 dashes in a straight line mean girl and 3 dots that are not in a line mean a boy.
And we had a pretty good view of 3 dashes. Happy Anniversary to us! We're having a girl!

But nothing is 100% in this world and we personally know several couples who were told they were having a girl and received quite a surprise upon delivery...so we are going to stick with gender neutral colors for now and start boning up on Hannah Montana.

Free Stuff!

We have great friends. I mean really really great friends!
As soon as we announced we were expecting we were absolutely amazed at how many of the big things we would need for the baby we received from our friends!

Our living room is now packed to overflowing with a crib, swing, baby gate, carseat, stroller, another stroller, pack n play, bassinette, moses basket, activity centers, backpack for carrying baby, travel highchair, changing pads, breast pump...and books books and more books! You name it!

Friends rule!

3 sneezes...and you're out

It's allergy season and the pollen count is high in our beloved Willamette Valley.
Taking a walk through the park with my honey comes with an extra treat because...
I've learned that when I sneeze, I pee myself a little.
And I always seem to sneeze in threes.
Can you say...kegels!

"The Peanut"

Around 13 weeks we received our first screening ultrasound. This is the test where they compare your blood test results and a measurement from the back of the baby's neck to get an idea of any genetic defects you might be at risk for. Ours went very well and we are at low risk.

What's fun is that they have a nicer ultrasound machine so instead of the ameoba-like blob we saw on our first run through with the lower grade machine, this one actually looked like something. Well...okay, it looked like a peanut, but that, at least is something!

Hence, we now refer to our growing bundle of joy as "the peanut."
I know, I know, but come on, did you expect anything different from us?

My favorite part (other than the nurse pressing as hard as she could on my full to bursting bladder)was seeing peanut bounce and hop and twitch all over. We were especially fascinated by the cute little frog legs that she was able to take a picture of. Iv'e included a picture so you too can be a part of our experience. Here's how:
1.) Drink a gallon of water and wait 30 minutes.
2.) Squeeze freezing cold hair gel onto your stomach and lean against a counter top to apply pressure for just the right amount of discomfort.
3.) Turn out all the lights.
4.) Print out the picture above, tie it onto a string, and have someone else dangle it about 10 feet away.
5.) Bounce the picture up and down on the string and shine a flashlight on it while squinting your eyes so you can see every little detail.
6.) Try not to pass gas or pee on yourself thus ruining the wonderful moment.

Mother's Day Surprise

SGAOJ Mother's Day Special


One of the hardest things that we decided to do was to keep our exciting news to ourselves until we had reached "the safe zone." That's generally about 10 weeks (I'll rant about the weeks vs months equation later!)

So, we waited. And boy was it hard. I mean really really really hard!

Mother's day was just around the corner...so we made the decision to invite both our moms over for a Brunch to release the news. We asked our good friend Scotty Iseri to help us with our task.

He's brilliantly funny and creative and we had much fun watching the moms squeal!

PS. Shameless plug: If you haven't had a chance to view other "Scotty got an office job" webisodes, you should!

Weapons of Mass Destruction

So....I should warn you now. I am an over-sharer. No, really...I mean you will hear things about me that you never wanted to know! If you are at all squeamish or loathe hearing about things like bodily functions then you may want prepare yourself before you continue reading this blog.

This is one of THOSE posts.

You discover new things every day when you are expecting for the first time. I'm sure to those of you who have a few kidlets under your wing, none of this is new. But there are certain things nobody thinks to share with you before you get pregnant. I mean, we had no idea that the missing Bush/Cheney "Weapons of Mass Destruction" were never found because they had taken up residence in my butt!

Now, I'm not talking about those 7:00pm Thanksgiving day farts. You know those...don't lie. I know you do. The ones where you've had 5 of your cousin's deviled eggs before you went back for seconds and thirds and you now have to walk from room to room crop dusting away hoping that the stench will dissipate enough that you won't be fingered as the culprit. Nope. Not those.

No. I'm talking about something that is quite possibly alive; sort of an Alien vs Predator thing, but inside your butt. They show up just before bed, right when you are getting all comfortable and climbing into the sack to snuggle up with your honey and then...whoops! Out squeeks this innocent little toot, without a sound and then it balloons into a mushroom cloud of the thickest, greasiest, foulest smelling fog that has ever existed! This is not a smell that occurs in nature anywhere. It's not rotten eggs. It's not 3 day old McDonalds. It's not even that smell that comes out of your cat's butt when she farts and wakes herself up and you go running for the door. Noooooo, this is a smell that clings to everything it touches, it doesn't go away, it just hovers in the air, clings to the blankets, your clothes, the walls, even the inside of your nasal passages!

Now, it takes a lot to gross out Willie but when I saw him running full tilt for the door with his hand over his mouth and his eyes watering, I felt a pretty darn big sense of accomplishment!

We now have a warning system in place and even though it takes a lot these days for me to get heft myself out of bed, even I know there are some things a marriage can survive and some things it cannot. And I really don't want to tell a therapist that I ruined my perfect marriage because of a "WMD" fart.

-b

ept tests suck.

St. Patrick's day is always fun. Green Beer, Leprechauns, Four leaf Clover, Pots of gold and getting together with friends to party. Well, that is, if you are not at home peeing on a stick.

I believe I already mentioned my periods are like clockwork, right? So, two days late, I figured I would just check...you know...just in case. So I dug through some old boxes from before our move and dug out that ancient ept pregnancy test that I bought 4 years ago. It was expired, but it said I would find out 5 days earlier than the other tests and who was I to argue with brilliant marketing? So, I tried it.

I took aim, failed miserably and, after washing my hands for the full two minutes I had to wait anyway, I took a peek at the stick to see what it held in store. Pretty underwhelming. I saw the line that everyone sees (even if Willie took the test) and then if I squinted really really hard, held the stick up to the light, closed one eye and hopped up and down on one leg I sort of saw where a second line was supposed to be. But it wasnt pink, it just looked like I had gotten that area wet. Ya know...with pee. Besides, they said, "dont lift upright" and I was absolutely sure that I had when I was squealing and flailing around about the ickiness my terrible aim had left me with.

So I went to the store and bought another box of ept tests...one that wasnt 4 years old and stuffed into a box in the basement. And then I drank alot of water and waited. And then I got smart and picked out a container that had long lost it matching lid and devised a much better system of "collect and dip." Sorry Mr. landfill.

This system was much better. And after two minutes, I looked at the stick and squinted really really hard and thought I could imagine that maybe there was possibly a second line? But it was so faded you could barely even see it. I mean barely discernably faded. So I finally called in the expert and told Willie what I was up to. He took a look and agreed that it was not very probable that this faded line was anything to write home about. Now for those of you who know Willie, he can pretty much find out anything in the world using the internet and for the next 2 hours, he became the master of all pregnancy test discussion boards, blogs, info sites and even he found not a single lick of useful advice on tests with faded lines. We both decided that our test was a negative.

But curiosity finally got the better of us and off to the store we went to buy a different brand of test. One that had a plus sign instead of a second line. And I drank some more water and retrieved another container sans matching lid.

So we waited with baited breathe and sure enough...a barely discernable faded plus sign appeared...just barely. Not wanting to get overly excited, I then dipped all the other sticks from the boxes just to make sure they all came up with faded results and we lined them up and had ourselves a quorum! Ummmm.....I think we are pregnant?

Wait, didn't the Doctor say we would be trying for another 6-7 months? Didn't we have tons more baby making nookie to look forward to? Wasn't I supposed to get my green beer?!

Nope. Luck o' the Irish! We were having a baby!

Beginning with a Backlog...figures.

Everyone I talk to that is a mommy tells me that I should keep a journal throughout my pregnancy to remember and pass on little tidbits to our "peanut" one day.

I've never been really great at keeping up with things like that but have a few girlfriends who have recently had babies who's journaling/blogging I have really enjoyed so I am going to give it a shot.

I figured I would start with a little backstory to get everyone up to speed.

Willie and I have been talking about this for about a year and a half now, At first, in a "we should start thinking about this kind of manner" but after last November, we really started to make plans to pave the way.

Now, mind you when we first talked to my Doctor, he was very kind and let us know that, after I went off my trusty old friend the pill, we should expect about 6 to 8 months of trying before we could expect anything. He took great pains to mention, that, should a year pass with no result, we could then start to talk about doing some testing.

We sat down and talked about timing, we did the math, we looked at our job schedules, our vacation plans, other commitments, our debt, our lack of savings, you know...all those things that you should have totally lined up before you jump right into the fun of baby making, right? And towards the beginning of the year, we decided that we would just take things slow; I would transition off my trusty friend the pill and we would not actively try, but just go about our married life and see what happened. After all, the Dr. told us we would have plenty of time to get all our ducks in a row.

So, I let my last pack of pills run out rather unceremoniously and we watched the Inauguration of Barack Obama with pride in our hearts and knew things would work out as they should. My periods came and went like clockwork just as they always had and even showed up on Valentine's day, since Murphy's law seems to always prohibit you enjoying any big occasion without the visitor.

I visited mom at the end of February and we had a lovely visit. Except for the part where I got out of the shower and she said to me..."if I didnt know any better, I'd say you were pregnant." I'm sorry...what? Did my own mother just call me fat?! Seriously?! Did that just happen?! I swear she said it...Anna was there to witness it. And I gave mom no end of grief about it for the rest of the weekend.

They say moms know...but before I did? Now that's just wrong.