Months vs Weeks: or, the stupidest math class EVER!

LIARS! They are all LIARS!
Don't believe anyone. It's a conspiracy!

We've been told our whole lives that you are pregnant for 9 months. 9 MONTHS!
Am I right? That's what YOU were told in health class right?
No. You are NOT right. You are wrong.
Because some sicko Dr. or nurse way back when decided that it would be a grand idea to measure our little peanut's development in weeks instead of months. That's weeks folks. And I am supposed to be pregnant for around 40-42 of those same said weeks!

For those of you with a calculator handy...that does not equal 9 months. That equals 10 months!
10 months of explosive gas, unintended belching, growth in places that were never intended to grow that big, the Mount Vesuvius of heartburn and an emotional roller coaster that would rival the world's most spectacular upside-down-side-to-side-loop-dee-loop version that was ever invented!

PLUS...if that werent enough to contend with...they also want me to do MATH? In my weakened, forgetful, dazed and confused state?
What?
Math?
I'm supposed to translate weeks into months and vice-versa? Noooo waaaay!
I mean, Im still just getting over the fact that I actually can grow boobs.

So, for those of you who want to know. I'm somewhere around 1/2 way done. Dont ask me what that means in weeks or months, cause I just don't know.

-b

Short and Chunky: a new maternity store

You know that song by sir mix alot, "I like big butts, and I cannot lie." I used to love that song. But now that I am pregnant I would like them to add a line that says: " I like big butts and thighs and I cannot lie." Yeah, thats the song I would like to hear right now.

So, who are these pregnant women who are 6 feet tall, still a size 4 and can pay $240 for a pair of maternity jeans? I mean really...who are they? I have NEVER seen a pregnant woman shaped like that except in Hollywood...and I don't live in Hollywood. I live right along side the rest of the world where the real shaped people are.

If the guys can have Big and Tall...
The petites can have 0,1,3...
The teens can have Forever 21....

I'm opening my own boutique called Short and Chunky and I'm going to sell clothes for all of us out there under 5"3" with legs built for logging. It will be a fun shopping experience that you will look forward to and not a painful one.

And it will have an AMAZING maternity section.
Where the jeans will fit over your butt and thighs and not leave a gap at the back of the waistband that you could fit another belly in...and you won't have to hem a foot off the bottom to make them short enough and the fashionably faded parts won't be inappropriately placed after all of that altering! And the tops will be soft and actually hip. Not too cutesy or frumpy or just plain ugly...but fun and hip and fashionable. And dresses and skirts will be flowing end at the floor to hide pregnant cankles.
yea, my store will rule!

That being said, I did finally find a great little consignment shop called Milagros that was wonderful and I was able to find a few pairs of pants and tops all for under $7.00 each! And the woman was soooo personable and helpful and understanding! Its on NE 30th and Killingsworth and it was worth the drive.

Yup, I've officially graduated into maternity clothing.
Although Wille is still fascinated with the belly bands that allow you not to have to button your pants. I've told him he cannot have mine when I'm done with them. No. Absolutely not.